Exchanging Vows In Oregon State Penitentiary

Twice a year, this maximum-security prison hosts several dozen weddings

Tensions were running high in the reception area of the Oregon State Penitentiary on wedding ceremony day. Jo, one of the day’s many brides, had somehow fashioned an updo free of bobby pins so as not to send the metal detector howling. She had also stashed two backup outfits in the car in case the guards deemed her wedding dress — a black-and-red sheath from Rent the Runway — too formfitting. Anthony Behrens, the man who would perform Jo’s nuptials, fiddled with his dossier of papers to make sure all the documentation was in order. I hoped nobody would notice that I was wearing a sports bra under my dress — underwire is the enemy of metal detectors. It would be the only time I’ve ever worn such an undergarment to a wedding.

Twice a year, the maximum-security prison cancels regular visiting hours so that several dozen weddings can take place. On this spring Tuesday, Oregon State Prison felt as charged as any church, synagogue, or city hall before the slew of wedding ceremonies about to take place. Jo was already a bundle of nerves and needed to be reminded to choke down a few bites of dry toast, as we scrambled to write down her vows on a few sheets from my reporter’s notebook. But tensions dissipated when we met Ben, Jo’s betrothed, a fit 39-year-old serving a nine-year sentence for attempted murder and assault. The couple met two years prior on a prison pen-pal website. Ben proposed on their second visit, and this will be the third time he and Jo have seen each other face-to-face. They will spend the first four years of their marriage on opposite coasts — Jo currently lives in Georgia — punctuated by a biannual visit. Since Oregon does not grant inmates conjugal visits, the couple might have to wait years to consummate their marriage.

But no one was thinking about that during the couple’s wedding day. Instead, it was all smiles, even from the corrections officers. Prisoners and their partners enjoy special privileges: a wedding cake made of stacked powdered donuts and the opportunity to sit next to each other. (During a regular visit, couples must face one another across a table.)

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