Musings on Music and Emotion

Music is intangible. We can’t touch it. We can’t hold it. Yet, we most definitely feel it. When a happy song comes on we feel it in our limbs, and we dance with joy. When a sad song comes on we feel it in our hearts, and it makes us cry. When an angry song comes on we use it as a vessel, and channel our anger and pain through it.

​I never used to truly understand what this felt like. I loved music, it’s an intrinsic part of my personality, yet I had never connected with it on that level. Until recently. Now I believe music can save lives.

​It’s hard to describe what I mean by this without turning this into something resembling some sort of self-help therapy diary, and no-one wants that, so I will keep it vague. All that really needs to be said is that I found myself feeling alone, lost and helpless after a bad break-up. Rock bottom had found me and it wasn’t planning on letting go. Being alone with my own thoughts and anxiety was getting the best of me, I needed some sort of distraction. So, I put on some music.

The album I happened to choose that day was Paramore’s After Laughter. This album is one which is steeped in melancholy. It’s not the sort of record you would traditionally listen to in order to brighten your day. Hayley Williams (vocalist for Paramore) has said that while the album was being written she was battling with crippling depression. “I thought, I just wish everything would stop. It wasn’t in the sense of, I’m going to take my life. It was just hopelessness.”

​The emotions that were flying around at the time of writing these songs clearly made their way into the final recording. Despite it dripping with 80s inspired new wave flair, the lyrics on After Laughter are firmly grounded in the bands emo roots. However, where once Paramore sung about stereotypical teenage angst, they were now singing about sadness, despair and hopelessness.

​Despite its downcast nature, After Laughter actually helped pull me through some of the darker periods of that time.

Lyrics like ‘Oh please don’t ask me how I’ve been/don’t make me play pretend’ from the song Fake Happy so perfectly reflected my own condition it was as if it was written for me. I began to realise that I wasn’t the only person going through this. Being able to relate to someone else, and see them pushing through and carrying on, spurred me on until I reached that pin prick of light at the end of the tunnel.

​It was with the help of Paramore, and various other bands, that I managed to come out the other side. Now I’m left wondering whether I’m normal. Am I the only person that turns to music when I’m feeling low? According to a study from the University of Chicago, maybe not. The author says; ‘Consumers seek and experience emotional companionship with music, films, novels, and the fine arts as a substitute for lost and troubled relationships’.

​Music specifically is used as therapy for a variety of issues. Before I began researching for this piece I had no idea about the existence of music therapy. The website for the American Music Therapy Association says it uses musical interaction ‘…as a means of communication and expression. The aim of therapy is to help individuals develop relationships and address issues they may not be able to address using words alone.’

​It’s crazy for me to think that I’ve avidly listened to music since I was a teenager, and yet, I never truly understood how powerful it can be. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t listened to that particular album, at that particular time and it doesn’t really deserve much thought. While I may not be back to being fully well what I do know is that I am happier now than I was then and that is thanks in part, to music.

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