How to deal with disrespect

I am sure that if you could, you would go about shutting each and every mouth that dares disrespect you, and that’s even possible to do to a few of them but what if every other person out there is hell-bent on making you feel inferior? Or what if the person is someone who is very close to your heart? Would you hurt them or try to change them, or will you try working upon yourself first?

Before asking others to change for you (which you are gonna fail at miserably), you need to first try and see what changes you can bring in yourself. Here’s how you can start:

This right here is the reason that made me deal with disrespect for years. I got consumed by anxiety, stress, tension, self-consciousness which had sucked the joy out of my life. I wanted people to treat me with respect and shower me with love but all that I got in return was nothing but disrespect, ignorance, and teasings.

The reason that you may be attracting disrespect your way or being mistreated by others could be your anticipations and assumptions.

As a child, I was a skinny and timid fellow and all I wanted was to be able to do freely express myself but I did not know how to handle their ignorance, their rude behavior, lack of respect, and as I used to get more of such treatment, it broke my self-confidence and I grew up to be an introvert who avoids all kinds of social interactions out of fear of being disrespected.

In other words, I used to continuously anticipate disrespect coming my way wherever I went and this anticipation made me nervous, and even resentful towards those who loved me but loved to mock me too.

I couldn’t realize that the more I was thinking about the possibility of being disrespected, the more I was bringing it into existence owing to the negative vibrations I was emitting in my surroundings. All this time, my own subconscious-beliefs and thought-patterns were destroying my self-confidence and it was I who was to blame for attracting such treatment and not them.

The moral of the story is that you need to stop anticipating anything negative unless you do want to bring it into existence and if you want to keep disrespect away from you, you need to let go of the past incidents that made you feel embarrassed or mistreated to get rid of your fears (I know, it's easier said than done so here’s the message for you — work upon your consciousness because it is consciousness that manages your thoughts and emotions, not your mind).

This is the simplest and easiest way of dealing with disrespect. Stop putting your expectations on people to be able to make yourself emotionally and mentally independent. The fewer your expectations are, the lesser the chances of your getting hurt will be because a feeling of disrespect has its origin in your desire of being respected.

Stop giving so much importance to your accumulated-identity (ego). See your identity as separate from you and yourself as consciousness, and your expectations will automatically come down. Your self-image is what is wanting preservation and when it gets compromised, you feel disrespected. Basically, it is your intellect failing at validating your memories(your identity).

The fact is that no one can survive on this planet without nature’s help so do spend that valuable mental and emotional energy of yours to practice gratitude instead of giving too much importance to your identity. The food that you eat, the water that you drink, the air that you breathe, all the materialistic things that you have at your disposal, the people all around you, and in fact your own body is fully dependent on nature so try to be as much thankful as you can.

Truth is, the more you expect people to be your way or to treat you with love and respect, the more emotionally dependent you will become and your state-of-mind will get fully dependent on people and on situations in your life and that is a horrible way of living life.

Situations don’t remain the same and people are fickle-minded, so you can imagine how much pain and disrespect you are going to attract in your life if you keep dependent on others for making you feel valued/important (again, know that it is your ego/accumulated-identity that is wanting validation).

It is said that “you reap what you sow”, I don’t know who it was but he could not be more correct.

Would you like to give respect to a person who gives you nothing but disrespect and negative vibes? It’s really hard to do so, isn’t it? It is equally difficult for others too. You can not expect to gain love and respect from others unless you give it yourself first.

If you talk to them rudely, they will do the same to you. If you will consider them as equals, they will too. But here’s the truth, you don’t do all those things consciously, this is how you are but that can not be an excuse because if it is, then it is true for other people too.

Truth is, our behavior depends upon how our subconscious is conditioned and that means your mind is driving your life for you but then what is your(consciousness) role in all this? You need to wor upon your consciousness to be able to control your intellect and subconscious to be able to control your life, there is no other way around that.

So, if you want love, give love; if you want respect, give respect; and if you like gaining disrespect then you can just ask them and they will help you out. It is only when you give, you receive; it can not be the other way around so stop expecting and start giving.

As I told you, people do not intend to disrespect you or to hurt you, therefore you must make sure that you do not get offended relatively easily. Make yourself so mentally strong that it becomes impossible for others to disturb you emotionally (but you clearly can’t do that and the reason is you are not conscious enough).

To build your tolerance power, you need to bring about a certain level of detachment in your life. You need to try and get over the duality of life i.e. move on from your liking and disliking, fondness and aversion, labeling others as good or bad, yours and mine, etc. These are nothing but your subconscious’ control over you which has completely taken over your intellect. If your intellect is not freed from its grasp, you are doomed.

Truth is, tolerance power comes from consciousness, it's not the quality of mind. If your consciousness is too weak, you will have zero tolerance power, if it is average, you will have better tolerance power, if it is very high, you won’t even need it because your ego will be in check.

What we think, we radiate (because thoughts and emotions are also nothing but vibrations/energy of various frequencies that make us feel good/bad or high/low), and even before our actions or our words, these vibrations reach other people and they can easily recognize how we are feeling, and based on those vibrations they treat us with what you call as respect or disrespect.

Our vibrational field disparages when we think (and feel) negatively and a person with such an energy field will only attract disrespect because energy attracts energy of similar frequencies.

Resentment and a lack of self-worth were the two biggest reasons that brought me a lot of disrespect in the form of teasings, and the chances are that you might be committing the same mistakes. And how you stop emitting negative vibrations? By strengthening your consciousness, not by strengthening your mind.

Seeing people’s point of view is as important as making them understand your own. People misunderstand the clash of opinions as disrespect because they fail to put themselves in others’ shoes.

We can only understand the intentions of a person only when we try to see his side of the story. The moment we do that, we come to a realization that they did not intend to disrespect us or to mistreat us as they had reasons to behave the way they did and in fact, they themselves are in more pain than us owing to their negative mind programming.

This can help us be more compassionate and kind to others and our behavior changes towards them which in turn helps bring about a change in their behavior towards us.

Truth be told, we lose control over our focus the moment something contrasting to our expectations happen because the deluge of negative memories and emotions erupt from our subconscious which can only be controlled by our consciousness. So again, consciousness is the key to controlling your thoughts, emotions, and feelings.

I know, I have repeated the same message (consciousness) again and again and that is all because I want you to understand the root cause of your sufferings. I have tried everything, positive thinking, mind-programming, law-of-attraction, you just name it, nothing works. If you actually want change in yourself, you do not touch your mind, your thoughts, and your emotions, you just work upon your consciousness.

This is the mistake that 99.9999% of the people are doing on this planet i.e. they try to control their minds but they do not work upon the thing that actually controls it which is consciousness.

Would you believe if I told you that you have lost your mind? I didn’t believe so myself so I fully expect you to do the same. But the fact is that if you ever felt disrespected by others then that means you have lost control over your intellect and your subconscious is on a rampage.

Okay, someone may have abused you but the fact that someone else’s words gave birth to negative thoughts and emotions in you is proof enough that you do not hold the keys to your own mind. How you think, how you feel, and how you behave are being decided by others, not by you and this is a big big problem.

It took me a very long time to understand that the mind that I considered to be my servant was instead acting as my owner and that was the root cause of all my sufferings. If you can not make your mind focus where you want it to or where it is most beneficial to you then that means it is no more under your control.

If you can not control your focus, you can not control your intellect, if you can not control your intellect then you can not control your subconscious and that means you can not control your thoughts and emotions, as simple as that.

To get control over your mind, you need to start practicing meditation. Make it a point to do things more consciously, with more focus and more attention cuz this way you can start training your mind to obey you. Attention is the key here, pay attention to everything that is in the present. It can transform your life.

Meditation brings about a distinction between the real you and your ego as it allows the real you to express your true self more and more. The more you are in control the more your mind obeys you. There is no way external situations or people can make you feel disrespected as long as your mind is under your control.

Respect and disrespect are just the perceptions of the mind. There is no power in this universe that can make us feel disrespected because how we feel is entirely up to us and if it is not happening with you then there is a problem.

Lack of self-worth, unfulfilled expectations, and a lack of acceptance can lead you to feel miserable.

There are only 3 ways of dealing with so-called disrespect: one is to console ourselves, the second is to program our mind and the third is to separate ourselves from our mind and take control over it which we do with the help of meditation.

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